


disasters (and many other occurrences with the hargreeves)

by sukker_sugar



Series: 15!Five [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (probably), Alternate Universe, Asexual Number Five | The Boy, Bisexual Allison Hargreeves, Bisexual Diego Hargreeves, Bisexual Vanya Hargreeves, Gen, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Transgender Ben Hargreeves, chat fic, everyones gay except luther
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28030248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukker_sugar/pseuds/sukker_sugar
Summary: klaus has added 6 other people to the chatklaus has changed their name to ghostbustersghostbusters has changed allison’s name to mamaghostbusters has changed five’s name to just killed a manmama:thats actually pretty cleverghostbusters:why thank you
Series: 15!Five [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053149
Comments: 4
Kudos: 91





	1. beware the gremlin

**Author's Note:**

> ao3 didn't have it and now it does

**(17:37)**

**klaus has added 6 other people to the chat**

**klaus has changed their name to ghostbusters**

**ghostbusters has changed allison’s name to mama**

**ghostbusters has changed five’s name to just killed a man**

**mama:** thats actually pretty clever

**ghostbusters:** why thank you 

**luther:** why am i here

**vanya has changed their name to vans shoes**

**vans shoes:** why are any of us here 

**just killed a man:** just to suffer?

**ghostbusters:** FIvE DID A MEME 

**just killed a man:** i do have the ability to be funny u know

**diego:** wow really i wouldnt have guessed

**ghostbusters has changed diego’s name to shut🤏**

**shut🤏:** rude

**luther:** what are all of these in reference to?

**just killed a man has changed luther’s name to im an adult virgin**

**im an adult virgin:** wtf man

**vans shoes:** oml five you went for his kneecaps

**just killed a man:** damn straight (ace)

**ghostbusters:** straight (derogatory)

**vans shoes:** ^

**mama:** ^^

**shut🤏:** ^^^

**just killed a man:** ^^^^

**ben:** ^^^^^

**mama:** you know, i was just about to ask why klaus added 6 people 

**vans shoes:** holy?? shit?? 

**just killed a man:** hey ben :)

**ben has changed their name to he’s ben 10**

**he’s ben 10:** hey yall klaus bought me a phone

**just killed a man:** oooh how are you typing 

**he's ben 10:** five i stg if you blink into here

**just killed a man:** too late

**he's ben 10:** he just typed that looking right into my eyes

**vans shoes:** iconic   
**vans shoes:** he jshdjxh j h b hh 

**ghostbusters:** did vanya just have a stroke 

**vans shoes:** no five just blinked into my room right in my face 

**it's ben 10:** gremlin child 

**ghostbusters has changed just killed a man's name to gremlin baby**

**gremlin baby has changed their name to gremlin child**

**gremlin child:** im not a baby

**ghostbusters:** babey man

**gremlin child:** >:(

**shut🤏:** ya lil b a b y m a n

**gremlin child:** i will not stand for this 

**mama:** I would advise yall to hide your phones now 

**shut🤏:** oh nozjxnxncbvb   
**shut🤏:** >:)

**ghostbusters:** fuck

**im an adult virgin:** klaus there's a child here! 

**ghostbusters:** im coming for you next luther 

**he's ben 10:** luther hide your phone -klaus

**vans shoes:** please dont hijack my phone next 

**ghostbusters:** why should I spare you other than i wasn't going to steal yours again

**vans shoes:** reasons pertaining to gay corn

**ghostbusters:** alrighty then im never touching vanyas phone again 

**he's ben 10:** five can I please have my phone back 

**ghostbusters:** fine   
**ghostbusters:** thank fuck    
**ghostbusters:** its klaus again    
**ghostbusters:** also vanya did you just imply what i think u did

**vans shoes:** unfortunately 

**ghostbusters:** vanny 👀👀

**shut🤏:** five has given me mercy its diego again

**mama:** hey what about luther 

**im an adult virgin:** luther can't come to the phone rn

**he's ben 10:** _f i v e_

**im an adult virgin:** fine    
**im an adult virgin:** I never thought I'd be saying this, but thank you, Five

**gremlin child:** well thats sort of a backhanded compliment isn't it


	2. aflame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People do not sleep and things are not set aflame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *crawls from my dark and dingy hole to update and leaves again*
> 
> also, merry christmas and happy holidays to anyone who celebrates!!

**(02:39)**

**gremlin child:** help whats a synonym for some

**vans shoes:** moderate amount 

**gremlin child:** thank u vans

**vans shoes:** np now go sleep

**gremlin child:** ill try

**(05:01)**

**gremlin child:** plot twist   
**gremlin child:** i did not sleep

**he’s ben 10:** someone tell these disasters to sleep

**ghostbusters:** no <3    
**he’s ben 10:** you ARE one of the disasters klaus

**ghostbusters:** why didnt i see that coming,,

**(07:35)**

**mama:** next time yall dont sleep i will not hesitate to rumour your asses 

**gremlin child:** [shaken_hamster.png] 

**ghostbusters:** alli have mercy

**mama:** not if you don't sleep 

**gremlin child:** mean

**mama:** dont you have to get ready 

**gremlin child:** ah shit yeah 

**mama:** mom should have breakfast ready downstairs   
**mama:** if for some reason she doesnt ill get you mcdonalds on the way 

**gremlin child:** mkay thank u 

**ghostbusters:** did   
**ghostbusters:** did five just comply with what allison said   
**ghostbusters:** AND he thanked her???    
**gremlin child:** maybe allison acts nice 

**mama:** jshjsdfd 

**ghostbusters:** rude

**(12:51)**

**gremlin child:** hey   
**gremlin child:** hey guys    
**gremlin child:** hey

**shut🤏:** what 

**mama:** whats up

**gremlin child:** ily 

**mama:** we love u too 

**shut🤏:** _what did you do_

**gremlin child:** i sneezed really hard and blinked by accident   
**gremlin child:** i cant tell if anyone saw   
**gremlin child:** help

**he’s ben 10:** ure probably ok dont sweat it 

**mama:** ok i’m coming to pick you up go back to class and dont have a panic attack 

**gremlin child:** ill try 🤠 

**(12:59)**

**ghostbusters:** oh five heads up, everyone except ben and i went to pick you up

**gremlin child:** i-   
**gremlin child:** fml 

**shut🤏:** hey, we’re just ✨concerned

**(13:12)**

**mama:** klaus and ben just so u know, we’re on our way back

**ghostbusters:** well did anyone see five blink 👀

**gremlin child:** hhhhhhh

**ghostbusters:** i am deciding to take that as a yes (?)

**gremlin child:** yEah   
**gremlin child:** [scream_cry_cat.jpg]

**ghostbusters:** oop- 

**(15:12)**

**shut🤏:** did you know that bulbasaur is v aerodynamic

**ghostbusters:** did you throw a bulbasaur 

**shut🤏:** good question   
**shut🤏:** next?

**mama:** _answer the question, diego_

**gremlin child:** we’re  _ very _ interested 👀

**shut🤏:** _ lobsters are also quite aerodynamic _

**mama:** **_DIEGO_**

**shut🤏:** sjdhdsjd

**(16:19)**

**i'm an adult virgin has changed their name to luther**

**ghostbusters has changed luther’s name to 🌚moon**

**🌚moon:** ???

**ghostbusters:** jadhhxbfbf

**(23:32)**

**mama:** wait the word owl looks like owo peeking out from a wall 

**ghostbusters:** oh my god ur right 

**vans shoes:** it?? does?? 

**ghostbusters:** congratulations i can no longer see the word owl the same way again

**mama:** that is a compliment 

**(01:26)**

**he's ben 10:** [5_taking_bath_1991.png]

**gremlin child:** welcome to bath and body works

**(03:41)**

**🌚moon:** we're out of milk

**shut🤏:** just tell mom to put it on the list in the morning

**ghostbusters:** I did not expect you two to be the ones awake at this hour 

**shut🤏:** neither did we

**(04:20)**

**ghostbusters:** owo?

**shut🤏:** _ go to sleep _

**gremlin child:** no u

**shut🤏:** i-

**(08:03)**

**mama:** alright you 🤡s, i'm taking five to school and then going to the store, don't set anything on fire while i'm gone

**ghostbusters:** we’ll try :D

**mama:** that is barely reassuring 

**(11:51)**

**mama:** alright i’m almost to the house has anything been set aflame

**gremlin child:** not to my knowledge

**mama:** hush child pay attention to class

**gremlin child:** :/

**ghostbusters:** no nothing was set on fire :(

**mama:** why the :(

**ghostbusters:** i like fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr is sukker-sugar

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is sukker-sugar


End file.
